Counsellor Newsletter – “My Child’s Behavior Is So Challenging, Where Do I Begin?”

“My Child’s Behavior Is So Challenging, Where Do I Begin?”

How to Coach Your Child Forward

“Start where your child is and coach them forward.”

If you feel completely overwhelmed by your child’s behavior
problems, here are  tips to help you focus on changing your child’s behavior, step by step.

Try to Have Reasonable Goals
Coaching Your Child Forward: Know What His Strengths Are
Keep in Mind That Your Child is Working Toward a Goal
Start with Physical Behavior
Pick One Behavior to Work       on at a Time
Can’t Decide Which    Behavior to Tackle First? Get Some Help
If Your Child Doesn’t Seem    to be Making Enough Progress…Keep it in perspective, or try a different technique.
Don’t Take It Personally

One way to stay encouraged is to remember where your child started and compare it to the progress he’s made. It’s also important to encourage when this happens. by Carole Banks, MSW,

Letting Go Gracefully

“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.” – P. J. O’Rourke

Stay Flexible. Continue to encourage and support goal-setting, but don’t worry when the goals change – sometimes very unexpectedly. They’ll find their way…in time.

Zoom Out – Zoom In. Your parenting is beginning to take a wide lens perspective as your child takes on more responsibility and you are less involved in daily details. Don’t be alarmed when you occasionally need to “zoom in” and play a more active role if your child hits a trouble spot.

Expect to Know Less. Many of the details of your child’s life – where he goes, who she’s with – will not be shared with you. Trust the good judgment that you’ve cultivated in your child, and know that what feels like a “don’t ask, don’t tell” arrangement is a natural step forward in your new adult relationship.

Advise with Caution.. Even though you might be dying to impart some important parenting wisdom to your young adult, wait for an opening or ask if your child wants to hear what you have to say.

Trust what You’ve Taught.. Consider your parenting as a cumulative effort, and know that mistakes made will continue to turn into lessons learned – for each of you.

Celebrate this New Season. At a time when some parents might anticipate a bit of an identity crisis, many experience a growing sense of happiness and couples report increasing marriage quality.

Helping Children Be Their Best
By Patricia Sullivan

All parents have similar dreams for their children. The common thread through all these dreams is children growing up to fulfill their parents’ expectations of success. But too much expectation to succeed can be crushing, in some cases as destructive as telling children they’re not good enough. The key is balance.

That special something
All parents want their children to grow up to be happy, healthy, and strong. But if children are pushed to perform at levels for which they aren’t ready, the result will be the opposite of what parents want. Instead of being proud of their accomplishments, children can begin to feel like sources of disappointment for their parents.

Listen up
Children will let parents know when they’re overwhelmed, either directly or indirectly. Let children struggle as long as they’re happy struggling.  If they’re uncomfortable, show them you’ll help them when they ask. You want to offer positive, helpful encouragement.

What is success?
It’s those life lessons—not academic knowledge or recreational skills, but qualities like diligence, perseverance, and responsibility—that will have the greatest effect on their lives. Parents need to remember that making sure their children acquire those skills is more important in the long run than whether a child gets an A on a report card or wins a race.

Community Resources

Ready, Set, Learn is a family early literacy program designed for parents/caregivers and children aged 3-5 years old. The program is a one time, a 6 week or a 10 week group experience where participants come together once a week for one hour. Sessions include songs, a story time, a craft time, and a snack. All SD#57 elementary schools offer Ready, Set, Learn. Please contact your local school for program dates and times or contact: Andrea Maurice at 250-561-6800 ext 341.

Parenting After Separating
Contact the Family Justice Centre at 250-565-4222.

Parents Together at Intersect
Parents Together is a supportive and educational community group for parents of teens. If your teenagers choices and behaviours are stressing you out, frustrating you or worrying you …. Come check out this group and realize you are not alone. Every Monday night for two hours. Facilitator: Judi 1294-3rd Ave. Contact Intersect at 250-562-6639

Online Resource
Empowering Parents: Straight talk, real results in a judgment-free zone.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *